just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize
