i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
You took a bar mat shot.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Are we still banned from the library?
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
