she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize