Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
so let's talk penis.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Randomize
