I want to make a zoo with you.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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