apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
