evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
