Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Randomize
