Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
