btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
