Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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