chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
