So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize