He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
