i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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