I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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