Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
