i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
