Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
