just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize