i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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