Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize