Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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