despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
