the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
