idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
