i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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