all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
be right there i have to get my cape
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Randomize
