I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
