I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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