this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
