I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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