Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
