i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
