Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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