I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
