If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
This house was built for laser tag.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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