I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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