I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
