I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Randomize
