why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize