i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
