He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Enjoy the penises
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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