I'm gonna have a badass scar
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
