omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
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