Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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