my vag is so smooth its legendary
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
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