wanna go halves on a baby?
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
