what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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