my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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