His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
