absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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