VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
