It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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