If i come over, it means nothing
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize