when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
