i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Life is so much better after having sex.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
